Mornin' Mojo

Full Caf Americano™

Welcome to Obama Weekend Update

Just snatch up the old remote and start punching channels. It’s Obama weekend.

It started early. Barack hugged Hurricane Sandy victims; Barack waved at destitute, flooded out people from a motorboat. Barack was big bro to a gushing Chris Christie.

Barack didn’t go to New York City because Bloomberg is in the tank… with his gone-viral signer, Lydia Callis.

NBC trotted along behind Obama with a sign that read: SEE! HE’S PRESIDENTIAL.

Oh, and Obama’s 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me.

He forgot to include that he’s Brad Pitt’s eighth cousin six times removed. That’s from Brad’s Kenyan side of the family. Or maybe they’re related on Obama’s mother’s side. I forget.

Geraldo Rivera kicked off the weekend blasting Republicans for politicizing Benghazi. I agree. How dare them politicize what Obama politicized first by burying the whole ordeal under a video no one ever heard of before the White House publicized it. This is politicizical plagiarism. Soy presidente Obama y aprobé este mensaje.

The Red Cross is an absolutely, positively, 100 percent, totally nonprofit 501 (c) 3 nonpartisan organization and does not endorse Barack Obama in its one minute advertisement featuring Barack Obama that is running in all the battleground states this weekend. Because that would be illegal. So they are not doing that.

Huffington Post wants us to know that a ‘veritable fire hose of data’ confirms Obama still has the lead in battleground states. Veritably. A gusher of variability. So don’t even bother to vote for Romney. It’s hopeless.

It’s actually a little better for Romney than I thought it would be. The jobs report ‘ticked’ up to 7.9 percent, which is exactly where it really was in September when California made a mistake and forgot to turn in it’s numbers. Jobs are, as you know, Job 1 in the Obama administration.

Last month’s jobs news was UNEMPLOYMENT DOWN!!! This month’s report ‘ticked up.’ Which is the PC way of saying: Jobs Went The Wrong Direction Last Month.

Buried in that story is the fact that Barack was speaking to a massive audience of 2,800 people. While Romney spoke to a jammed house of 30,000.

This just in. Barbra Streisand is voting for Obama.

On the up side. One of Bill Clinton’s former assistants has endorsed Romney. Rumor has it she wouldn’t put out for Bill in the White House either.

Also, there are two prognosticators out there who are giving it to Romney in a landslide. Michael Barone and Dick Morris.

But Clinton is Obama’s secret weapon. He’s even more enthusiastic about Barry this year than in 2008. No, really.

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