Full Caf Americano™
Okay, you see this routinely in Hollywood. Washed up actor, striving to resuscitate a career that couldn’t be deader if it were in a drawer at the L.A. County Morgue, wrongfully deduces that if he or she can just do something really really liberal, maybe Steven Spielberg will notice and give them a job.
The late Charlton Heston might be rolling in his grave today thanks to Jim Carrey, who debuted a new satirical song about gun enthusiasts appropriately titled, “Cold Dead Hand.”
The Funny Or Die music video features Carrey and alt-rock band Eels as “Lonesome Earl And The Clutterbusters,” a country band on a TV show set inspired by the classic variety show, “Hee Haw.” Carrey also portrays the aforementioned Heston, who is continuously mocked throughout the song for his NRA spokesman-ship. Carrey even implies that Heston and all other gun enthusiasts buy weapons to compensate for having, um, “diminished” sexual organs.
And, of course, it never works. Oops, there goes the fan base, from Omaha to Ardmore and points West, along with a few million jobless Twitter users who have nothing better to do than follow him.
Everyone from Ann Coulter (who plays a conservative on TV) to Laura Ingraham has taken to the airways to lambast this never-more-than-semi-funny Canadian, but perhaps Greg Gutfeld said it best on The Five yesterday.
“He is the most pathetic tool on the face of the earth,” Gutfeld said. “And I hope his career is dead, and he ends up sleeping in a car the way his life began. This video only made me want to go out and only buy a gun. He thinks this is biting satire and going after rural America and a dead man. Let’s talk about Charlton Heston. Charlton Heston was one of the first actors to be behind the civil rights movement and march. What did this jackass Jim Carrey do? He was behind the anti-vaccine panic. There are what, 165,000 people that died from measles last year, according to the World Health Organization.”
“Jim Carrey has killed more people than all the rifles combined,” Gutfeld continued. “He is a dirty, stinking coward. He is a moral coward. He did a video attacking rural America. But he wouldn’t do video about gangs, which kills way more people with handguns — he wouldn’t do that because he is worried about his career. Such a pathetic, sad, little freak. He is a jiberring mess. He is a modern bigot, he is a modern bigot. He is a bottomless pit of insecurity and the desire for acceptance is why he is doing this, because he knows in his heart he is a fraud.” [Video]
Let me get this straight. You come to America and make gazillions from mindless Generation Xers too stoned to know whether your funny or not; and then you trash Charlton Heston? The American icon who made Omega Man, Soylent Green, and Planet of the Apes?
Hey, Jim, missing Canada? There’s this really great standup club in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan…